Stronger
Than Your Mind®
Mental fitness mentor for business owners with loud, bat shit crazy brains.
So your mood stops running your business, your head finally starts making sense to you, and you quit feeling like a freak for the brain you’ve got.
Understanding
I get you because I don’t just talk to the talk I walk the walk. As well as understanding you, I will help you to understand yourself. Allowing you to then feel more understood by those around you too.
Perserverance
I wont give up on you and I will empower you to not give up on yourself. Perserverance is crucial if you want to be Stronger Than Your Mind®. It is about not giving up and having the tenacity required to do something and keep doing it tell the end, even it it’s hard.
Honesty
I am not here to bull shit you! I will be honest with you so that you can finally start being honest with yourself too. I will sting like a bee so that you can fly like a butterfly. Knowing that I got you and honesty is always the best policy.
Ready to actually do something about it your brain being a dick?
Not more motivation. Not good vibes and a nice quote.
The real tools to get a grip on your moods so they stop running the show. So you can stop bracing for the next wobble, feel alright in your own head for once, and get on with building the business you set out to build.
Are you sick of feeling;
Trapped
Can’t get where you want in your business because of the symptoms of your mental illness? But can’t tackle the symptoms of your bat shit crazy brain because you’re so busy trying to make a success of your business?
Existing
Never feeling satisfied or happy? Happiness if it does occur is quickly followed by a fear that the numbness and the intense sadness will soon return. It means you simply exist in your life and in your business. Not knowing how to feel.
Burden
Sick of feeling like you are letting yourself, your family and your business down?
Scared
Sick of being scared of your thoughts, your anxiety and plagued by nightmares. Scared to even put your head on the pillow at night because you know it will set off your overthinking?
Here’s the thing though. None of that means you’re broken, or too far gone, or that this is just how it has to be. It means your pink elephants have been running the show. That’s fixable.
Here's what actually changes
Not a personality transplant. You’ll still be bat shit crazy, thank god. What changes is this.
You stop feeling like a freak for the brain you've got, and start feeling properly seen instead.
You finally understand why your head does what it does, day to day, not just the diagnosis on paper.
The stuff that felt like a mountain starts to feel like steps you can actually take.
Your mood stops running your business. You do.
so, who am I, and who is this actually for?
Eh up I’m Nix. Mental fitness mentor for business owners whose brains are loud, fast, heavy, all of the above, and usually a right handful to run a business with.
Mental illness, neurodivergence, diagnosed, undiagnosed, or just quietly convinced you’re “too much”, you’re my people. I work with the lot.
What I go after is the day to day stuff. Not your diagnosis on paper, but how your brain actually behaves on a Tuesday when there’s invoicing to do and it’s decided today is the day to spiral instead. Your pink elephants. The ones stomping all over your business while everyone politely acts like they can’t see them.
And I go after them with a bit of, let’s call it, serial killer energy. Calm, patient, and completely committed to picking them off one at a time. We hunt them down together, we name them, and we take them out before they do any more damage. The only thing getting killed off here is the patterns that have kept you stuck for years.
One honest thing before we go any further: I work with people who are out of crisis point. I drive a Peugeot 3008, not an ambulance. If you’re at crisis point right now, I’m not the right support for you, and I’d never pretend otherwise. But once you’re through the worst of it, and ready to actually deal with what’s been left behind? That’s exactly where I come in.
Meet your pink elephants
The Elephant In the Room
We all know the elephant in the room right? The thing everyone can see but nobody talks about. Like when someone lets out a fart in a packed lift and the whole place just carries on regardless.
For us bat shit crazy folk we have what I like to call our ‘Pink Elephants’. Your pink elephants are the day to day symptoms of your bat shit crazy brain that you’ve been tiptoeing around for years, the ones quietly holding you back while you pretend they’re not there. I’m here to help you spot them, name them, and tame them so they can stop fucking up your life and your business.
About Me
I offer heart led honesty and a no nonsense approach. With a dark sense of humour, I’m not afraid to use when the situation calls for it and often while oversharing too. During my one on-one or group sessions, you’ll find a perfect blend of laughter and tears.
Having overcome various forms of trauma in my own life, I transformed my pains into my passions. Drawing from my counselling qualifications, I gained control over my own moods and emotions. As a mum of 4 who has survived suicide, I understand the intense challenges you face. Feeling worthless and burdensome, we often worry about the impact our moods have on our families never mind the impact it has on our business. Doing all the do in your business but being the one thing that is getting in your way. You are your own worse enemy and no matter what strategy you learn or what coach you employ. At the end of the day it is always your mental illness symptoms that stop you from thriving in business. I get this because I was this.
I’m here to show you that you can regain control over your moods and emotions.
My specialization lies in helping people with long term mental illness and or those who are neurodivergent. I myself have Borderline Personality Disorder (aka Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder), complex PSTD, long term anxiety and depression. I am also dyslexic and have dyspraxia and BPD is often misdiagnosed as ADHD as the symptoms overlap massively. So I am basically here for ALL the bat shit crazy shit. Combining my diverse qualifications, I offer a multifaceted approach to address the day to day symptoms of your mental illness.
My greatest passion is sharing the tools and strategies I’ve developed with people who are ready to take proactive steps to gain control over their own moods and emotions. Together, I’ll help you achieve emotional independence and confidently take charge of your life and business.
Listen up!
I don’t know about you but I love a good ole natter!
It can also be really lonely when you are struggling with your mental fitness as a business owner. In fact did you know that 72% of business owners struggle with their mental fitness and of that, 7.6 out of 10 feel lonely. So listening to a podcast, espcially about a topic you realte to and from someone you relate to can really help with that.
So heres, some natters that matter a selection of podcasts that I have appeared on.
Also if you would like me to feature on your podcast then pop me an email to Nicola@strongerthanyourmind.com and tell me what your podcast is about and why you would love to have this bat shit crazy person as your guest!
Sam Milburn - could it be adhd
So we decided to have a chat about our experiences of both and where the overlaps are in our own lives.
The conclusion? Well you’ll have to listen to the episode as like most things there’s never really one answer!
In this episode we talk about
- Emotional Dysregulation and how it shows up for Nicola and me
- Dissociation and Trauma, what it is and the signs to look for
- How trauma is different for everyone
- How we feel clinicians need to be more clear on their questioning to find the right diagnosis
- Some trains of thought as to how and where BPD stems from
- The different types of neurodivergence (and how Nicola didn’t know she was Neurodivergent until recently!)
- The importance of trying different things to look after your mental fitness
- How being around the right types of people can be so empowering and things you can do before you head down the diagnosis route.
Experts Eating Cake with Michelle Thomas and Nicola Parker
In this YouTube podcast episode Michelle from Experts Eating Cake asks me various questions about my life as someone with borderline personality disorder.
We discuss
- What does mental fitness mentor actually mean?
- Suicide attempts and being at crisis point with my mental illness.
- The ‘why not’ message and how it saved my life.
- Perservering with mental fitness and why this is crucial to becoming stronger than your mind.
- Taking the stage for the first time infront of 400 people at a major event called The Big Festoon. The Uks fatest growing business and personal development event.
- The mental illnesses and day to day symptoms of them that no one speaks about.
- My goals for my business and the impact I want to have.
- How to start accepting your mind
- What is the Stronger Than Your Mind Academy and how does it help people with their mental fitness.
Boss Bitches with Debbie-Lyn
* Trigger Warning * Suicide.
We speak to the incredible Nicola Parker, Mental fitness mentor, about her lived experience of borderline personality disorder and how she found her purpose in helping others suffering from mental illness.
Pretty much discuss the same as the above topics but is a very quick bitesize episode.
Out of the darkness comes light. Nicola Parker, a mental fitness mentor, shares her survival story - Paula Burns
A very indepth chat about my traumas in the past and what has led me to being where I am today.
Lots of the similar topics as discussed above but also some more.
What my clients say
I came across Nicola on Facebook when I saw her post and answered ‘yes’ to so many questions. For both my mental and physical health – I knew I had to explore her further. I am glad I did. Nicola is amazing, a true survivor and a warrior. She is supportive and inspiring but not afraid to kick butt when the situation demands it. The other group members are wonderful; there is no judgment, it’s a safe place to be, and yes, it can be a funny place too. Mental and physical health don’t have to be 100% serious, as I’ve discovered. Thanks to her incredibly useful and honest online support guides, I know I can turn to Nicola or her virtual self for help 24/7. Stronger Than Your Mind is unique and that’s a good thing. It’s not sterlie, clinical, or ‘fluffy bunny’. It’s honest, it’s open, it’s warm and friendly. It’s serious, it’s funny, it’s light, and sometimes you’ll get a no-nonsense toe up your bottom if that’s what you need. If you think all support groups are the same, think again.
Nicola has created workshops to help with numerous different issues/areas of concern and by working through them you are able to see things from a different perspective. I’m always going back through my worksheets to remind myself of how I felt when I worked through the workshops and it really helps. Nicola is so knowledgeable and makes you feel at ease. She really is the expert as she has experienced and overcome her own challenges in life.
When I finally opened up to Nicola and told her what I was going through, there was no judgement and no talk of social services, but lots of understanding. It was so nice to finally have someone to speak to about all of this, I didn’t feel alone anymore. Nic was like a little light in a very dark time where I couldn’t see a way out. After sometime of having one to ones with Nic the pain began to lift I began to see that I wasn’t crazy, my children were not better off without me and I wasn’t a horrible person my my was telling me I was I began to see I was worthy of help but most importantly I could see that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. If I could go back and tell that little girl anything I would tell her it won’t feel like this forever and everything was going to be alright and she was going to make it thanks to a very special lady who would lead her out of all the darkness and pain she was carrying.
When I first started my sessions I still felt a little alone discovering I struggled with BPD and what it meant for me. I was unsure of my next steps to take and what to do to help. I feel a lot more positive about myself now and don’t feel like people are going to hate me because of the way I am. I know I’m never going to be ‘cured’ but I am okay with that now, I know I have to keep working at it and eventually I’ll have more control over my head so I am determined to keep working hard! I feel I have more control than when we first started having sessions. I handle tough situations better than I did before and I am not quite as closed as I used to be because I was scared to let people in. I am proud of myself when I look back at everything that has happened and I am still here trying to make things better. I can’t thank Nicola enough for the support and guidance she has given me, it is honestly priceless. I dread to think where I’d have been if I hadn’t found Nicola.
Before I had sessions with Nix I was mixed up. I didn’t know what was holding me back and why I wasn’t making progress in my business. Now dealing with the noise in my head is like chatting to a new person. Learning what’s not me and what’s my brain has changed everything for me. It’s easier for me to take control now and stop the noise,
Now I have done the work with Nix I feel ready to do the extra work now in my business. Getting myself and my business out there. I’d have never got to where I am now without Nix. I’m licking her ass now 🤣.
What Nix does is work through stuff. I’ve done more in 4 months with Nix than counselling has ever done for me.
After an exhausting time at Atomicon Nix and I debriefed and I couldn’t believe the breakthrough I had! I thought I was overtaking and my brain was telling me to shut up – in fact it was the complete opposite! My brain was talking a lot so IT could control the conversation and protect me! Mind blown!!! We talked it through and next time I go to an event I am mentally much more prepared than ever thanks to Nix.
I am holding back tears right now. I carry so much shame for not being better at coping with everything and for not doing better in my business and it is honestly exhausting. But the way you described perfectly what my brain’s doing without any shame and gave me ways to support it AND do the stuff it’s avoiding has made me feel more seen than I can remember feeling in a long time. You’ve given me hope that maybe I don’t have to give up yet, maybe I will find a way to build what I want. Thank you.
I can’t express how much I appreciate YOU Nix and what you do and the group support too. I’ve been diagnosed 20 years now with Borderline Personality Disorder and I’ve been round so many con’s and so many psychologists and they’ve helped very little! The support I get from you is invaluable because YOU get it, you have this lived experience and know how to get through to us and reframe things! I finally feel that I understand my own thought processes at last or at least understand why my brain likes to throw the toys out of the cot.
I have been having one to one with Nic for a few years no, without them I wouldn’t be here today. I’ve suffered with anxiety all my life, along with perfectionism and always feeling alone.
Nicola has given me the tools and strategies that have had a massive impact on my life.
Nicola took the negative voices that where in my head and made them positive.
You help so much and are truly one of a kind at what you do and that’s what makes you so special. Thank ou for NOT being like every other therapist there is.
When I finally opened up to Nicola and told her what I was going through, there was no judgement and no talk of social services, but lots of understanding. It was so nice to finally have someone to speak to about all of this, I didn’t feel alone anymore. Nic was like a little light in a very dark time where I couldn’t see a way out. After sometime of having one to ones with Nic the pain began to lift I began to see that I wasn’t crazy, my children were not better off without me and I wasn’t a horrible person my my was telling me I was I began to see I was worthy of help but most importantly I could see that what happened to me wasn’t my fault. If I could go back and tell that little girl anything I would tell her it won’t feel like this forever and everything was going to be alright and she was going to make it thanks to a very special lady who would lead her out of all the darkness and pain she was carrying.
After one to one sessions with Nicola I feel at peace. I recognise now, how strong that little girl I used to be was. This has changed my life around. I feel strong and at peace.
It is a year ago today when I made my first and only attempt on my life. I broke down crying. Remembering that little girl and how lost she felt and how sometimes I still feel like her … but now I know I’m not alone and I am not unloveable. Thank you, Nicola, so much for everything you have done for me and are doing for me in my life. I love you to the freaking moon.
When I first started my sessions I still felt a little alone discovering I struggled with BPD and what it meant for me. I was unsure of my next steps to take and what to do to help. I feel a lot more positive about myself now and don’t feel like people are going to hate me because of the way I am. I know I’m never going to be ‘cured’ but I am okay with that now, I know I have to keep working at it and eventually I’ll have more control over my head so I am determined to keep working hard! I feel I have more control than when we first started having sessions. I handle tough situations better than I did before and I am not quite as closed as I used to be because I was scared to let people in. I am proud of myself when I look back at everything that has happened and I am still here trying to make things better. I can’t thank Nicola enough for the support and guidance she has given me, it is honestly priceless. I dread to think where I’d have been if I hadn’t found Nicola.
Because of our one to one sessions I feel like I can breathe again. I am taking back my voice from the people who tried to take it. I am reconnecting with myself with a stronger version than I was before.