I am a mama of 4 and I have had a very colourful life, and I now use those experiences and qualifications to help others. I used to think I was worthless, like I was nothing and a waste of oxygen. I was a terrible mama, I was plaughed by my past and I had no control overy my life, my emotions or anything. I was lost, scared and saw no hope.
“To help women who suffer with mental health to become stronger than their mind.”
I was that mama petrified of the future and how my mental health was affecting my children and dramatically changing their lives forever. I was a mama who had no control over her moods or emotions. I loved my children so much but I felt that the best option for them was for me to take my own life and not be that negative impact and burden on them and my family anymore. I was in the deepest darkest places, and one day I found myself shouting at two ambulance crew who had just frantically managed to save me, moments from successfully ending my own life. I remember fighting them back, not letting or wanting them to save me. I hated them for not letting me go, for not letting me set my children free!
Now I am so grateful for my life and so blessed to now have had another child and be a mama of 4 amazing children. I am a good mama and I am in control of my moods and emotions. Yes I have my struggles still, but everyday I make simple adjustments to ensure that I am always stronger than my mind.
This is my mission, to help other mamas who feel there is nothing but fear, pain and being trapped by their mind. No mama should ever feel like this, no mama should ever feel like the best thing for their children is for them to not be their mama. My vision in life is that every mama I work with, I will help her to regain control of her moods and emotions. To help her not be scared of what she might be capable of, to not believe those intrusive thoughts mean she is a bad mama. I will make mamas feel worthy, confident, loveable and most of all proud of who she is and the mama she is too.
I know that you can become stronger than your mind. I have the experience coupled with the qualifications and skills to not only continue to help myself but to help people just like you who think they are not good enough to be a mama. I got you!
I studied and trained as a person centred counsellor and was set on a career of helping others who had been through a difficult childhood.
But, during my studies, I realised many of my own wombs from my childhood where wide open. Unable to deal with them, I did the worse thing possible. I tried to put a lid on them and pretend nothing was going on. I was also trapped in a very unhealthy and mentally abusive relationship with an extremely possessive partner. I was 18 and already had a son with him. I stayed in this lie, this unhealthy place for many years. Going on to have two more children and creating a lot more wombs.
But I am so proud that with three young children, no career just certificates. I left my ex and had no idea what to do or who I was. I didn’t know what it was like to have freedom, of any sort.
I somehow ended up doing a law degree. I think this was my way of trying to show the world that despite being a very young, single mum to three children. That I could cope, and that I could make them proud and be a respectable member of society. I was doing well, I was on par to get a 1st class honours degree and was even already on the masters course due to my high grades. I was half way through my 3rd year and I was keeping that lid on things, or so I thought.
Of course, the lid came off like a pressure cooker exploding. I suddenly realised I was suffering, badly from mental health. I attempted to take my own life (and tried again several more times too). My life spiralled out of control. I lost my grip on my entire life. I spent several years, struggling and trying to stay alive. I was consumed and controlled by my mental health.
Then slowly, I started to regain my control. I started to use the skills I learned as a counsellor. I started to accept that my life hadn’t been the fairytale we all hope it will be. I started to accept that I got to decide if I was a victim or not. I realised that I had all the power I needed, within me, to change and to regain my control over my life and my mental health.
So, I used my existing counselling knowledge, gained so much more knowledge and qualifications. Even becoming a qualified personal trainer! To bring me to where I am now. A mental health practitioner helping mamas who struggle with their mental health. I adore what I do. I know that all I have been through has now enabled me to help so many women. I am grateful for the lessons that my life has taught me. As it now enables me to help people like you.
I am beyond passionate about what I do. Because I haven’t just read the books, I haven’t just taken the exams. I have lived and breathed it too. I have several mental illnesses which I manage on top of a family of 4 children and running a business. This is what sets me apart from the services offered on the NHS. This is what makes me so powerful for you to have as your supporter. Because, I am in this with you! We are in this together. I have got you.
Back in 2018 I was asked to contribute to a book full of truly inspirational women. Despite being absolutely terrified. I accepted and began the painful process of writing my chapter (chapter 17). It took some real lady balls to do what I did. The book reaching number 1 in some of the top amazon categories was worth it though. I feel so empowered to have shared a bit of my journey and to be able to call myself a published author. You can get a copy here (kindle copies are only 99p) and read not only mine, but several other truly inspiring stories from women across the UK.