“Nic, I have seen all your workshops, I have seen the tasks you set in your group every day, I have seen you suggest workout; BUT I can’t do any of those things because my mental health is too bad. What can I do to stop feeling like this?”
This is such a common message that I get in my inbox, and I will be honest it can be frustrating. For many reasons, firstly I feel you! I know exactly where you are coming from and what you mean. Secondly, the help is there, you have found it, I am here for you but I can’t make magic happen in an instant. So, let me try and answer this most common question for you in this one space. But be warned, truth bombs will be dropping and tough love will be thrown your way ok?
So, you are crippled by your mental health. Its like it has you in its grips and it just won’t let go, not even a little bit so that you can do the tasks in my group. You see the posts in group, you see the workshops on offer and you know they would be perfect for you. But you’re just not in the right head space right now. You are too wrapped up by your mental health to even think about doing those things. Or, you are just too busy with work and life and nothing ever works for you so why bother anyway. You will wait until you have a better job, until the kids are more settled, until your relationship is calmer, until you have more time?
There are two separate issues here but let’s try deal with them together.
Stop with the excuses.
There is never a good time, there is never a right time. The time is NOW. The job may never come, the change may never happen, so then what? You just stay in this state forever? Or the stuff may come, but not for some time, so you just stay in this state until then? NO! You decide to do something NOW. You decide to stop any and all excuses. The pity party is over, no one is coming to safe you. YOU HAVE TO SAFE YOU! There is no magic wand, no fairy god mother and, am sorry to say, but no magic pill either. Yes medication can help, but it doesn’t solve it all. Medication can help to stabilise you and put you on a more level playing field, but it isn’t the only solution. You need to combine it with more methods too. Think about someone who has had a serious accident and a huge physical trauma. They will spend their time in hospital receiving medication, but they will also receive rehabilitation help too. In the form of physiotherapy, counselling, occupational therapy etc etc. This is how you need to look at your mental health too. More than taking a pill and waiting for it to work. YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT TOO. YOU HAVE TO MAKE CHANGES.
The wrong headspace is the right headspace.
When you’re telling yourself; I have too much going on right now, I am just not in the right frame of mind right now, I need to wait for things to get better. All these excuses are just that. The fact you are not in the right headspace right now, means you need this RIGHT NOW. Because this is what will help you to respond better to the current difficult times you’re in. This is what will help you to be in control of your moods and emotions right now. The wrong time is in fact, the right time! But, don’t beat yourself up for thinking this way. It isn’t you. It is your mental health, it is your comfort zone. You have become comfortable being uncomfortable. Your comfort zone is being in this wrong state of mind, you may not realise it but for many of us it is. To think of a world different to the one you are used to right now can seem extremely daunting and scary. It can feel like something that is going to take a lot of hard work and is just out of your reach and capacity. I used to think, getting better just won’t happen for me, there is no light at the end of the tunnel for me so what is the point, the happy endings don’t happen to people like me. BULL SHIT! That was me too scared to face facts. Too comfortable in being the miserable, depressed, controlled by my mental health state that I was so used to living in. It wasn’t my fault I had anger issues, its just the way I was. It wasn’t my fault I was a difficult drunk, my emotions spill out after a few. No! This was all me not being in control of my moods and emotions. This was all me being comfortable in such an uncomfortable place.
There is nothing else, this is it.
So, in a nutshell, no I don’t have another answer, no there isn’t something else you can do. You need to look within, look at why you are not taking me up on all that I have to offer you? Why you are telling yourself that you can’t take part in the posts in group? Why are you telling yourself you can’t join the Stronger Than Your Mind Academy when the doors are open? Why you can’t purchase a workout plan and start to see the benefits of exercise. I offer so much and stuff that is proven to work, not only one me but many of my clients to. But it will only work, when you work.
I can’t do it.
You have to accept that to get out of the state you are in right now, you have to do something about it. You have to be productive, you have to take action. There is an age old saying, you are not a tree, so move. If you don’t like your current situation, if you are plagued by your mental health, then MOVE! I have got you, I am here with you every step of the way. BUT I CAN’T DO IT FOR YOU.