Hi I am Jessica, 21 and this is my story.
I fell in love…
When I was 15 I met a boy, I thought he was perfect and we got together. Everything was fine until about a year later when he started getting abusive, verbally at first then physically. I could feel it affecting me mentally so I was going to leave…until I found out I was pregnant.
My babies came along, but would things change?
I had my little girl at 17 and even though I loved her something still wasn’t right with me but I was too scared to see a doctor. I fell pregnant again a few month’s later and 11 months after my daughter I had a little boy. Me and my ex were living together by this time and things had gotten worse. I could barely get myself out of bed to look after my kids. He moved out but it didn’t help, the damage was done. The health visitor ended up involving social work because I was missing the kids doctors appt, not answering the door to people, couldn’t keep my house tidy. Social came in and placed my kids into foster care.
My wake up call, things had to change
That was my wake up call. I went to a doctor and got diagnosed with depression and social anxiety. I got given “happy pills” but I stopped taking them due to the side effects. By the time I managed to get myself back to a good place it was too late, a court had ruled with social work and my kids were going for adoption. Obviously this put me right back down. I didn’t want to live anymore. I stayed in my bed, didn’t eat, didn’t do anything. This was nearly 2 years ago.
Life is now worth living again
13th April 2016 I met a guy through a friends dad. He was amazing and forced me to get out my bed etc. Today I am now living with him, have taken on his 7 year old son and have another 11 month daughter of my own. I have a college interview, good family support and now my partners family too.
Gone but never ever forgotten
It still kills me everyday losing my older 2 kids, and I am still trying to cope with my mental health on a daily basis and the lasting effects my ex had on me, but I’m getting there slowly. It’s a daily battle but (most days) now I am winning and I will continue to fight my inner demons!