I’ve been affected by depression since the age of around 14, at 14 I had a drug and alcohol worker because I was drinking a lot at that time. The previous 2 years to that I was being left to look after my younger siblings. Whilst my mum was out doing drugs, as a result me and my siblings were not allowed to live with my mum. Me and my sister went to live with our dad and my younger 2 siblings went into care. My dad kicked me out after a year due to me drinking again and not following his rules bear in mind I hardly knew the guy!
16 pregnant and post natal depression
I moved back and that’s when I got pregnant with my first child at 16. I suffered really bad post natal depression that never went away. When my son was about a year old I took myself to the doctors as it got so bad. I started to self harm and wanted to kill myself. I explained everything to the doctor who made me realise I’d been suffering with depression and anxiety for years on my own.
Hearing voices and feeling numb
He prescribed me with anti depressants which helped at first. I ended up in a abusive relationship with my 2 youngsters dad and tried killing myself numerous times. I’ve been on numerous anti depressants but now refuse to take them as once was hearing voices and I felt numb all the time like I couldn’t be happy or sad. I’m 25 now and still suffer quite bad some days but I’ve learnt to deal with it a bit better as I’ve got older.
Pills aren’t for everyone
My doctor has realised anti depressants don’t work for me and has put me on CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) so far it is helping a little but I do need to start putting more time into it. I feel the NHS has helped me so much but believe I was failed by social services at a young age, if they had tried to understand what was going on in my head they could have offered me better help rather than moving me to the other side of the country.
My advice to you…
The advice I’d give to other mum’s is; if they’re feeling really down please ask for help were not always as alone as we feel. And always take the time to listen to your kids understand how there feeling because mental health doesn’t just affect adults. I’ve learned the hard way and didn’t even know as a child I was suffering with mental health issues.
